Only Dreaming

December 2, 2013

I have been having recurring dreams lately. I keep returning to this place that changes a little every time it pops up in the dreaming, but is same-y enough that it is familiar, only as a place I have visited in dreams. Certainly it is an amalgamation of several places I have been in real life.

Most of the time, visiting this place is like some kind of wish fulfillment. However, that dream never actually comes true. There is always something keeping me at least an arm’s length from the end game of the dream. Funny little place really. I kind of just wake up annoyed, but also ready to do some kind of work.

Another common thing in the dreams is zombies. In a recent zombie-related dream, I had to kill pretty much everyone I have ever loved. Would have been slightly satisfying in this case, had a certain ex shown up, but thankfully I don’t really dream about him much anymore. Nor do I want to. The zombie dreams are sometimes terrifying, but usually I know it’s a dream.

The third kind of dream is some kind of bizarre convention-related dream. Sometimes the dreamworld reminds me of DragonCon, but sometimes it seems an altogether different atmosphere. Sometimes I know the people around me. Sometimes they are strangers. I usually wake up happy, warm and fuzzy about friends I have met at DragonCon and look forward to seeing again.

I haven’t really ever been one to keep revisiting the same sorts of places and ideas in my dreams, that I’ve really noticed anyway. I find the lack of variety a bit dull, to be honest. And I think I rather prefer nights I cannot recall the inner workings of my mind.

Anyway, I know this reeks of vagueness and I haven’t really said much of anything here, really. Just something I think about sometimes on the periphery, where dreams live.

I think that more than dreams while slumbering, I intended to write a little something about real life dreams, and how to make them come true. I don’t really think of end-games involving my creative projects anymore. The journey is the thing. And I like to focus on what it means to be creating the thing I want to make (because most of my dreams are creative by nature), and physically making that thing.

I have a couple of new (but kind of very old) projects I am ready to start on. There is some planning, some collaborating, and lots of work to be done. I hope I do my dreams of what these projects could be some justice. And I want to pour so much of my thoughts about changing the world into these two things, and I want to fill them so full of delight that they might burst, but then they might not burst, but then they explode anyway, all over everything. I want my dreams to scatter bits and pieces everywhere.

I know, again with the vagueness, but I find that talking specifics about projects tends to ruin them. And I’ve already confessed probably a bit too much to a friend about one of the projects. So I think I will stick to vagueness here, though it is probably annoying, and leave the specifics to my personal journal, which might actually be the place my dreams go to die.

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