This was technically Skip Week 3.
Schedule for Defensive and Educational Studies for Blorgbat Season
Blorgbat Season: October 1– October 31
Notice: Certification is mandatory, as designated by the state. All citizens are required to attend at least 3 sessions to be certified, and must pass the online examination. Failure to comply in a timely fashion will result in deportation to the Marshall-Sandstorm shipping loop until Blorgbat season is officially designated over, and the waste removal teams declare the island once again safe for inhabitants.
Sept 6, 7pm, Welcome Center: A Call to Arms: Batten the hatches, sharpen your arrows, learn how to re-charge your counter-measures and laser deterrents. Also renew your certification, or fill out your first-time certification application.
Sept 8, 7pm, Welcome Center: Bizarre Anatomy: an overview of the species, their 8-year mating cycle, and their natural habitat in the bottomless caves. For the kids (ages 5 and up): Blorgbats and You: A Documentary.
Sept 8: 8pm, The Boneyard: Delicious Delicacies: join Catty Broadsides at her bar, for recipe ideas, and instructions on how best to prepare this untamed culinary treasure.
Sept 10, 11pm, The Welcome Center: Midnight Tunnel Tours: highly recommended for all citizens, get your map of the underground tunnels that are opened every eight years, and a guided tour.
Sept 13, 6pm, Scurvytown High School Auditorium: Blorgbat History and Rhetoric: Learn how the blorgbat got its name, and about the fateful first encounter with the species during their prime mating season.
Sept 15, 11am, The Welcome Center: Examination Station: The first tier of examinations will be administered for new citizens, and re-certification badges will be distributed starting today.
Sept 18, 6pm, Scurvytown Town Hall: Citizens Reunited Against Blorgbats: The first meeting of CRAB for the season. On the agenda: carcass retrieval, meat processing, and the finer points of slaying the vicious blorgbat.
Sept 19, 6pm, Scurvytown Town Hall: Scurvitans Against Violent Ends: The first meeting of SAVE for the season. On the agenda: safe havens, defensive maneuvers, and the finer points of keeping off the radar of the oft-misunderstood blorgbat.
Sept 21, 6pm, Scurvytown High School Auditorium: First Aid: What to do if you are attacked by a blorgbat and infected with their venom, how to use a hacksaw to cut off a limb, and learning to recognize signs of mutation in the infected. (Course designed with health care workers and law enforcement in mind.)
Sept 23, 6pm, Welcome Center: Pass or Fail: Final outcomes for new citizens, all paperwork must be completed by midnight in order to take the final exam on Sept 29th and avoid deportation to the Marshall-Sandstorm shipping loop.
Sept 25, 6pm, Welcome Center: Catch and Release: Learn how to track, capture, and release a Blorgbat back into their natural habitat. It may be the last thing you ever do.
Sept 29, 3pm, The Docks: The Marshall-Sandstorm Work Program: the decision is in your hands, unless you failed certification, either board the work-ship or re-take your certification exams
Sept 30, 9am, Town Square: Pep Rally and Nailing Party: a final rounding up of stragglers, parade to the Docks, and nailing up unboarded windows.
Any questions, please contact Janet Tor at the Welcome Center.
Next week’s blathering.