Broken

July 9, 2011

On Thursday night, I was updating wordpress and it broke my website. It’s happened before, but usually seems to right itself. This time was different. I waited, checked back a few hours later, and it was still broken. It seemed to be related only to one of my plug-ins, so I had to figure out how to login to the ftp thingy and delete the plug-in. Like magic, the website was back to normal, minus the offending plug-in. So it was a simple fix, but I was ridiculously proud of myself for figuring out the issue, addressing it, and righting the wrongs like a pro.

I have been increasingly disappointed in my workshop class. It feels like when it’s my turn to have my work looked at, everyone seems to say the exact same thing (general overview-wise, a few people offer super helpful original insights), and then pick to death some minor flaws or quirks. I think this is supposed to tell me that I am turning in really solid writing; however, I don’t want to know that. I signed up to the class to learn how to make my writing better, because it needs improvement and it always will, which is one of my favorite things about writing. It’s a fun learning experience, always. Well, not always fun, but always educational, somehow.

So I journaled out my gripes today, and ended up with 1 page of whining, 1 page telling myself to get over it, and 3 pages about the amazing dream I had last night. In the dream, my grad school friend Nicci (one of the super-helpful insightful people) and I were wandering around some art museum/ studio space. It seemed to be some kind of creative mecca for all artists: musicians, painters, writers, and many more. It was like it was our orientation or something, like we had fellowships to this amazingly creative space filled with other wonderful artists who were working on fascinating collaborations. It’s probably the most awesome dream I have ever had, at least lately- considering that my sleep schedule seems to have shifted itself into hours I do not approve of. Maybe I am meant to write some late-night scenes for some stories or something? I will go with that for now, I think.

Anyway, it’s nice that when things seem broken, there can be an easy fix, whether it’s a technical issue, or something that manages to sort itself out inside a dreamworld. And journaling, I have to remind myself, is such a powerful way to sort out the broken bits from what can be repaired/ improved.

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